Anna Belmont (angelari) wrote in here_within,
Anna Belmont

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I have a revelation. (Sometimes I'm a little slow on the uptake.)

A little bit of background.

Before I moved out to Pennsylvania, I was heavily involved in Phoenix local fandom. I worked the second con I ever attended, way back in 1995, and I never looked back. I held a committee-level position at nearly every convention that was held in the area. I was CASFS procedural secretary. I was involved in a NASFiC and two Westercon bids, and I traveled to several out-of-state cons primarily to throw bid parties and man bid tables. I was the Faithful Lackey (President) of T.H.E.M., ASU's sci-fi club, for a year. I even helped my disorganized ex chair a convention.

When I held a position, I was a complete and utter bitch. My usual laid-back attitude completely vanished. I wanted things done, I wanted them done right, I wanted them done at a professional level.

Yes, Integra Helsing was involved in con-running in Phoenix.

It's... a combination of relieving and distressing to look back and see evidence of my Others before the Great Awakening when (I thought) they first started acting through me. I'd thought, perhaps naively, that they'd been content to sit in my head and talk to me, and only came out to interact with the rest of the world when I gave them permission. But now... well, among other things, it explains certain sudden changes in my attitude/personality/beahvior that appeared from time to time. Obviously, Integra was the one who got involved with fandom and the politics that drove me crazy. After years of hating slacks and not owning a single pair, it was Antony who went out and bought my khakis. I know there are more moments and situations like this, and they'll all start to make sense after a while. But this one was a big one, and I had to share.
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